Orphanages

The last couple weeks have been filled with getting involved and rekindling old friendships. It feels good to get out of the house more and to start doing some of the things I've been wanting to do since before even coming to Indonesia. And an added bonus? More interesting things to write about! I'm still tired, but LC is having more good nights than bad nights so my energy level is improving. And my to-do list is still unbearably long, but I'm whittling away at it little by little.

Last week I was able to catch up with an old friend. When I was in high school I was an exchange student in Australia for one year. The program (AFS) organized us into groups so that we'd have a group of other exchange students with whom we could share experiences and lean on. There were 7 of us in my group: a Venezuelan, Japanese, Thai, Italian, French Canadian, Dane, and me. I've kept in touch with a few of them, have visited a couple of them (in Caracas and Montreal and Milan) and been visited by a couple of them (Venezuelan and Japanese). My Japanese friend now lives in Bangkok and had to come to Jakarta last week for business. She generously braved the Jakarta traffic to come to dinner at our home, meet J and take a peek at my sleeping boys. It was great to catch up with her and hear about her family and her life now. Thailand is very high on my list of places to visit so I'm sure I'll be seeing her again in Thailand.

Last week I also attended a meeting of the American Women's Association (AWA) Social Welfare Committee. This group grants money to different social causes in and around Jakarta. For example, they give money to several orphanages, provide scholarships for children to go to school (public school here is not entirely free - you have to pay for school uniforms, workbooks, pens, school fees, etc.), give money to mentally and physically disabled homes for adults and children, etc. Some of these places receive money from the government, but of course it's never enough. And some of them are started by generous and philanthropic individuals or churches (I'm not aware of us working with any mosques but we may) to meet the needs of their communities. To help them make ends meet these places make an application to the AWA, for example, which is reviewed by the committee and funds are awarded (or not). The committee gets its money from membership fees and the majority from corporate donations. It was a very interesting meeting and I'm excited to become part of this group of women who are doing some really wonderful things in the communities.

Part of the committee's responsibility is to visit the group that has submitted an application for a grant, and to make follow-up visits to ensure that the money is being used for the stated purposes. This morning I went with a group of women to visit an orphanage and home for pregnant women in Bogor. This place was started by an Australian woman (doctor I think) and doesn't receive any government funds because it is Christian (I asked if it is the same for Muslim sponsored places but they didn't know the answer - I suspect not). The pregnant women are single or married women who do not feel comfortable or safe remaining with their families. There were 4 women there at the time. While staying in the home they are taught a skill like knitting, and while they are there they make various crafts that are sold in the community or at bazaars.

The orphanage had about 8 children under 1, another 15 1-4 year olds, and about 10 preschoolers/kindergartners. They teach the older children themselves in the orphanage because its actually cheaper to hire a teacher than to pay school fees and related costs for all of the children. Many of the children in the orphanage are not actually up for adoption. This is quite common in Indonesia and in many other countries. The families bring the child to the orphanage because they can't afford to keep them at that time, but hope to be able to afford to later in their life. And families do sometimes take their children back when their financial situation improves. But other times not. And unfortunately some families only take the children back when they're old enough to work. I suppose in most cases this is fine because realistically not all the children would be adopted anyway. However, I hate to think that there might be children out there who are desired by other families but their biological families have them on "reserve" until they're old enough to work. I also heard that it's difficult to adopt a girl from a Christian orphanage because there aren't enough up for adoption (they're in higher demand). You can only adopt a child from an orphanage of your religion, so a Muslim can only adopt a Muslim child, and a Christian can only adopt a Christian child.

The place I visited was quite well run and evidently one of the nicest ones I will see. It was very clean and the children had their own beds and it was spacious enough. There are about 20 staff so the staff don't seem too overwhelmed, although they welcome volunteers. The toddlers seemed to have quite a few toys to play with and they were reading books when we came. There was a backyard and it was in a very quiet, nice neighborhood. And most importantly, the children seemed happy and the staff very loving. It was nice to learn that the vision in my head of what orphanages must be like is not always true, and that sometimes the children are actually in a better situation in an orphanage than they would be in a home. However, I know they aren't all as nice as this one and that there are others I will see that will break my heart.

Correction

A couple quick corrections about the elections. It was actually for the governor of Jakarta, but for we Americans we would use "mayor". Also, the man who won used to be the vice-governor of Jakarta, not the vice-president of Indonesia. This is therefore a step forwards for him, and makes a lot more sense to us. Just another good example of the challenges of communicating across different languages...

Holidays abound

Apparently we've moved to the land of holidays. It seems like there's a holiday every other week (that's not actually the case, but it does seem that way). We've had 3 holidays in the last 2 weeks: Jakarta mayoral elections, a religious holiday, and Independence Day.

The mayoral elections went smoothly, as far as I have heard. There were demonstrations and marches in the weeks leading up to the election, but nothing too contentious. The streets were quiet the day of and nobody expected there to be any problems. We saw a couple polling places in our neighborhood, so I have the impression that there were numerous polling stations and they were easy to get to. And notice - it was a holiday! People could go and vote and many did not have to take off of work to do it. What a concept! I think it is ridiculous that we don't do the same in the US, not even for the presidential election. I'm sure our economy can survive if we add another holiday every 4 years. So the winner of the election, with an easy win I believe, was the former vice-president of Indonesia. J and I thought this would be a step down, but evidently not. Maybe the vice-president of Indonesia has even less power than the vp of the US, and governing Jakarta is like governing New York City.

The religious holiday was a Muslim holiday. Most of them are; however, there is also a Hindu holiday and a Christian holiday. There is a holiday for the new year, and a holiday for the Chinese new year. Indonesia is predominantly Muslim, but it seems pretty smart and progressive to honor other religions and other traditions. We hear the call to prayer a few times per day and there are many mosques, but otherwise it isn't readily apparent that just about everyone is Muslim. I also expected that I would always need to wear long pants or skirts and shirts with sleeves on them, but this does not seem to be necessary here in Jakarta. Matter of fact, we have been shocked at the tiny short shorts we have seen women wearing in the shopping malls. We'll see how things change when Ramadan starts in a few weeks, but for the most part the fact that this is a predominantly Muslim society isn't prominent in every day life. I imagine outside of Jakarta this would be different...

Last Friday was Independence Day. My understanding is that celebrations are very neighborhood centered. There were decorations everywhere (red and white flags) and evidently there was a parade and games in the kampung (neighborhood) near our house. We didn't know what time the festivities took place (nobody seemed to know the day before) so unfortunately we didn't observe the celebrations. From what I heard though the festivities mostly consisted of games for older kids and adults, and it doesn't sound like we missed out on a lot. But it would have been interesting to see. It made me miss our own Independence Day. I'm sure we would have taken C to a parade and had a bbq with our friends. That would have been nice...

Jakarta becomes noticeably quieter on these long weekends. Many of our friends get out of Jakarta, and many Indonesians as well. The roads are less congested and it is wonderfully quieter in the city. Once LC is older we'll start to get out of Jakarta for these long weekends as well, although it's also nice and relaxing to stay here when the whole city vamps down a notch.

Regression City, Indonesia

Last week had a tough beginning thanks to the two young boys of the household. Going back to school had quite an effect on C, and not a very good one it turns out, at least not in the short term. His first day back at school saw two potty accidents and three visits to our room during the night. The boy hasn't had an accident since the first week he was potty trained in May, and yet in this one day he had two. Then that night he woke up three times and came into our room. He wasn't up long, but these disturbances plus LC waking up was a double whammy. When parents say that having two children isn't just twice as hard but exponentially harder, I think they had this sort of night in mind. The following day was a repeat - two more accidents. Plus we're trying to get him potty trained for number two, but to no avail. Instead I'm incredibly frustrated and he's gotten a couple time-outs for outright lying to me about it. So we're just going to put that one on hold, again.

Plus there's LC. I should not have said he was sleeping better because all I did was jinx myself. The glorious 6-7 hour stretches of sleep were short-lived, and he is back to 3-4 hour stretches. Actually make that 1-4 hour stretches, because as the night progresses his sleeping abilities decrease dramatically. It's like 5:00 - 7:00 just sucks all around, whether it's in the morning or evening. By the end of the day I think he's just so tired that he's generally cranky, and I guess in the morning he has almost had enough sleep but not quite, and is cranky then too. I'm pretty ready for the night time routine to get better. This is getting old.

The good news though is that LC has started smiling for real. It's such a wonderful development and pretty much makes up for the lack of sleep. He's got a full-on toothy grin and his eyes totally light up. Add the smiles to his wonderful coos and it's pure joy! Right now he's singing all kinds of songs and it really is heavenly!

And C is having fun at school. I love that he can give me a full report now of the fun things he is doing there. He seems to be adapting quickly to his new teacher and new classroom. He is excited about school at the end of the morning.

I realize my posts of late have been really boring. I'm even bored writing them. Understandably, however, my days are very wrapped up with my children and there is little else going on right now. Plus, I just don't have the time or energy to write about much else, or to even write my posts well. I apologize. I will try to make my next post a bit more interesting, or at least on a topic other than my children...

All is fine

The earthquake off Java occurred shortly after midnight on Thursday and measured 7 on the Richter scale. It was felt in Jakarta, even by people living in our area of town. There was some destruction in Jakarta but no injuries have been reported. We didn't feel a thing and didn't know about it until we looked at the news the next morning. For those of you who might have seen the headline and worried, we're all just fine.

Such a big boy

My eldest son officially started preschool today, and last week he turned 3. I can't believe it. His new developments and accomplishments amaze me daily, and I am so proud of the boy he is becoming. He is so sweet and affectionate, a behavior for which I can't quite tell you how grateful I am. I love his uncoordinated hugs and sloppy kisses! And somewhere along the line he picked up the phrase, "you're the best mommy in the whole world", which he says daily and I eat it up every time. His memory also amazes us. He has memorized many of his books and will read to us rather than us reading to him. He will remember small things from our adventures and J and I will look at each other as if to say, how on earth does he remember that?! He is a total chatterbox. He will talk forever, saying the funniest things. This morning when we passed the mosque he explained to me how the men go inside the mosque to pray. They pray that the mosquitoes will be nice to him and not bite him. I love the things that he says!


He shares very well with other kids (most of the time) and enjoys playing with other children in a small group setting or one-to-one. Big groups and new experiences are somewhat daunting to him, but he quickly eases into it and then totally embraces it. Case in point was this morning: he went back to school this morning and started in a new class, the preschool room. He stood outside the class for several minutes, too shy to go in. However, once I pointed out the big digger to him, he ran inside and started chatting away, playing with the toys, showing the teacher his new shirt, etc. I was even able to say goodbye much earlier than I expected.


We had a really good time at his birthday party. Most of the kids and moms from our playgroup came, so there were 10 kids and 10 moms at the party. It was mayhem. But fun mayhem! We played a couple games and we got him a Lightening McQueen birthday cake. Everyone seemed to have fun, and it was his first birthday where he really seemed to understand what was going on and was really excited about his birthday. Thanks to all the gifts from friends, from us, and the packages arriving in the mail from grandparents and friends back home, he opened presents for 4 days straight. I'm afraid he may think this is normal... All in all it was a very successful day (exhausting for mom, but worth it) and now C is 3!

C and LC on C's birthday



Birthday cake


And my LC is growing well. He has started sleeping better and will sleep for 6-7 hours for the first stretch of the night. I hope this will stick and that the second stretch of time during the night will also get longer. I'm still getting up 2x/night, but at least I can get a longer stretch of sleep to begin with. I think his first smile is around the corner. I've seen some smiles already, but don't think they're quite the real thing yet. He's also started cooing more often, and the sound is beautiful!

Now that C is back at school and LC is starting to sleep better, I feel like I can really start settling in here. I have started going to a yoga class and will join a gym in the next month, and I hope to start C at swimming lessons and start myself at golf lessons in the near future. I hope to become more involved at the American Women's Association, and basically just start doing all the things that I've put off. And at some point I'd like to start doing a bit more work on some of my company's other projects here. Life will get busier, but in a good way.