Plastic bags and the Go Green craze

It has been nice to see the number of articles in various mainstream magazines and newspapers devoted in some way or another to environmental conservation concerns. There are of course the places you'd expect to see them, like National Geographic, but then there are also magazines like People (that's right folks, I read People. Afterall, I need to get my fix of America popculture!) that have been publishing more and more related articles.

In the April 28 issue of People there is an article on the plastic bag ban. San Francisco became the first city in the US last December to outlaw disposable plastic bags. As of now it only effects large grocery and drugstore chains, but that most likely addresses the bulk of the plastic bags being distributed. Similar bans have already occurred in cities in Ireland, India, and Bangladesh. Similar programs, albeit voluntary, have been instituted in Australia and Taiwan has passed a law requiring retailers to charge customers for plastic bags and utensils. As a result, Taiwan has seen a 69% drop in use of these products. In addition, the country of China recently cracked down on plastic bag use by outlawing the manufacture and distribution of very thin bags, and requires retailers to sell any plastic bags distributed. Over 12 US cities and four states are currently considering similar plastic bag bans.

The concerns regarding plastic bags are many-fold. It is estimated that consumers use between 500 billion to 1 trillion plastic bags every year; in the US it is estimated to be between 20 - 100 billion. These bags in America are manufactured using more than 12 million barrels of oil! And sadly, only a small percentage are recycled. And the rest? You could still see them littering our lands and water 1,000 years from now. In addition, thousands of sea creatures (whales, sea turtles, seals) are killed every year after ingesting plastic bags.

A few grocery stores I know of are actively recommending the use of alternatives to disposable plastic bags. Whole Foods has recently completely stopped using disposable plastic bags. They sell inexpensive recycled plastic bags at their stores, and encourage you to use your own bags by discounting your bill by 5 cents/bag. And if you don't have a bag, you can still use their 100% recycled paper bags. Another one of my favorite stores, Trader Joe's, still offers paper and plastic bags but also sells cotton bags. I would think they'd follow Whole Food's lead in the near future though. Additionally, Ikea charges 5 cents for plastic bags.

Personally, we have just started using a reusable bag for our groceries. Like most people, about 92% of Americans, we reuse our disposable plastic bags for various things, mostly to carry something somewhere or to throw other things away. So we probably just reuse them once. Better than nothing, but not good enough. I had been considering using reusable bags for years, but even after putting some cotton totes into our car I'd forget to bring them into the store. However, with the increased press on the environment, a paper bag stocked full of plastic bags, and my recent purchase of a very cool bag, our family is trying to be more committed to not contributing so much to the billions of plastic bags used every year.

Our new, very cool bag is made from non-recyclable plastic waste that is collected by trash pickers in Jakarta. A project called XSProject buys the waste from the trash pickers, providing them with extra income. The project then collaborates with other organizations and small cottage industries to recycle the waste and construct different size totes. And guess what? It looks like you can buy some of these bags in the US!


As you may imagine, Indonesia doesn't have a recycling program. However, a friend in my complex is looking into having our management company install bins for recyclables to be picked up by XSProject (I think). It would feel so good to not have to throw all of our waste into the trash! I'll write more about that if it materializes.

So jump on the bandwagon if you haven't already - start using re-usable bags today!

The Stupid Iraq War and other musings

I have no intention of this blog becoming a regular political outlet for me to complain or lament our current situation, or to cheer those occasional things that go right. However, I am somewhat political so these ideas and emotions are there, and sometimes they just need to burst out. It is probably a good thing for all of our sakes that I don't let this become my own personal griping outlet. I can get pretty annoying and passionate about some issues, to which J would certainly attest. For example, my friend Emily, of Lovely and Amazing fame, recently posted a rant about SCHIP program funds being cut. Well, I could fume on and on and on about that one, but since Emily already did such a good job of it you can read it here if you're interested. So, if you are someone who actually thinks it's a good thing we're embroiled in this huge, multibillion dollar lie and mess they call a war (who could you possibly be???), then you may not like most of what I have to say today (although it's really not that offensive).


The reason for the political outburst today is because J and I watched In the Valley of Elah a couple nights ago and it was a really, really good movie. It is the story of a father trying to find his son who just recently returned from Iraq. It stars Tommy Lee Jones as the father, Susan Sarandon as the mother, and Charlize Theron as the detective. What makes it especially poignant is that the story is based on actual events. The truth of what happened to the son, and what happened to him during his tour in Iraq, is tragic in so many ways. For most of you, because I know who you are, the truth won't be that shocking. It's part of the reason why we hate war in the first place, why it should never be entered into as lightly as it was, and why we think the government is doing such a pathetic job of fighting this war and taking care of our troops. What does surprise me is this last part. I don't understand how anyone, whether you're for this war or against it, isn't forcing the military to do a better job of taking care of its troops both while they're on duty and once they return.

This movie did a really wonderful job of pointing out these flaws and of pointing to the horror these boys and girls and men and women have to face on a daily basis while they're there, and of the continuing internal horror they face once they've returned. What I especially loved about the movie is how it accomplishes this both very overtly, but also very subtly. You'll understand what I mean if you watch the movie. Which you really should do.

Onto some segues... After watching the movie I wanted to discuss it with J. I was in tears and very upset and couldn't help but imagine that it was my son in the story. I didn't relate much to the family, but I do have 2 sons and it scares the living crap out of me to think that they could one day be drafted into war, or even join of their own volition. It's not a big stretch to imagine this. So this is what I attempted to discuss with J. I asked if watching this movie enraged him like it does me, to see what this war did to this mother's/father's son and to other mother's/father's sons, to know that we're spending billions of dollars on this lie instead of on improving our health care or education, etc. which is in such desperate need. But he wasn't. Or rather, this movie didn't make him feel that way. And he didn't relate in imagining that boy being our C or LC. It became evident to me, and has before many many times, how differently we see things. Part of the reason we see things differently, I think, is the male vs. female perspective.

And this is why I can't help but wonder about the current Democratic party nomination choices. Firstly I'll admit that I haven't paid close attention to it. This is one of the benefits or drawbacks of living overseas, depending on how you view it. It's easy to ignore what's happening back home. So I point this out because I couldn't tell you how the candidates really differ on key issues. But I will also add that many of my friends who do pay attention say there aren't huge differences anyway, and honestly this had already been my impression so far. If Hillary wins, fantastic, if Barack wins, that's cool too.

Why I'm bringing this up is because of what one of my pro-Barack friends said. He sent out a Vote for Obama email and added, "Vote for Change". It's this last bit that I don't entirely agree with. Yes Hillary is seen as being too entrenched in Washington politics, and perhaps this is true. On the other hand I think it would be good to have someone with substantial experience leading the country. Barack also has a very international background which of course I respect, and he could bring a very interesting perspective to the White House. And yes, he's not white. Maybe this will make a difference too. But when it comes down to it, he's still got a penis. And this is where my previous conversations relate to each other.

Speaking in generalities here, a woman, especially a mother, would be far less likely to enter into war. The reason is because she can, very easily and without much of a jump, imagine if it were her child she were sending to war. She can imagine, in her heart, in her head, in her bones, that it was her friend or sister or brother's child going into war. She can imagine, without stretching that imagination past a 2 second thought, that it was the corner grocer's son or her nurse's daughter going to war. I'm not saying at all that men don't think these thoughts, because of course they do. What I'm saying is it just doesn't seem to be the same. And that's the kind of change I'd like to see in the White House. I'd like to see first hand a president who has birthed a child and who has struggled as a working mother in this totally unsupportive society we have. A woman does see things differently. The issues that she deems most important often do differ from what a man might see as being most important. Did you know that a woman who has been pregnant will never lose a part of that child in her body? Meaning that I will always, for the rest of my life, have C's and LC's cells running through my body. I think that's so cool, and so poignant! I'd like to see the changes this woman would make. I think having a woman as president could show more change than a man. (And relating to the SCHIP rant, at least Hillary tried to address the health care issue! No one else is willing to go near that monster, despite how desperately we need to!)

Onto yet another segue, and another review. Don't worry, there is relevance. I've recently read Raising Cain: Protecting the Emotional Life of Boys, which is a guide to helping boys develop their emotional skills rather than destroying them, as our society seems to value. The authors, psychologists, illustrate the research and recommendations with anecdotal examples from their work with boys. The book includes chapters on boys in our educational system, in our culture, relationship with mothers (which I found particularly interesting), relationship with fathers, etc. I consider this book, or one with similar content, to be a must-read for any parent of boys. We've been so focused on increasing the opportunities for girls (which was needed) that we forgot about what was happening to our boys (big mistake).

I think the book has been personally helpful. While most of the recommendations were not "new" to me, as they feel like common sense and based on how I was brought up, some parts were quite enlightening. For example, the chapter on boys in school was very useful, and I'll be sure to read it again in a couple years when C starts kindergarten and may come up against similar struggles as were described in this chapter. I also appreciated the chapter on mothers with sons, because I don't "know" boys the way I "know" girls - I can use the help!

And the relevance? Do I need to spell it out? Well, we send our boys off to war without any emotional training on how to deal with the horrors they see. They're ill equipped to begin with, and then we make them do and see incredible atrocities. And then we bring them back, hopefully, with no skills on how to reassimilate or how to make peace with their life in Iraq. This is the tragedy that happened in In the Valley of Elah, a tragedy that maybe we could help prevent by encouraging our boys to listen to and express their emotions and to support them rather than criticize. On a side note, while looking for a link to this book I found a nifty page on PBS with other information, guides, etc from Raising Cain.

What a bonus! You got a political rant, movie review, and book review all in one little post!

Red wagon, red wagon

Going for a ride around the neighborhood.

And because I find it impossible to get a photo of both of them, at the same time, smiling and looking in my direction...

Another C-ism

My mom reminded me of another C-ism from when she was visiting.

From time to time C would get mad at Nana (my mom) for who knows what or because she wouldn't do/give him what he wanted. When he would get mad at her he would cross his arms, pout and say "FINE! just fine...you disappoint me Nana" and walk away with folded arms. He would then come back in 30 seconds and say, "Are you sorry Nana?" She'd respond with a no (and a laugh) and he'd walk away again in a huff. A few seconds later he'd return once more and ask again, "Are you sorry YET Nana?". Then they'd resolve the matter and be off again with another story or another activity.

Loss

I'm tempted to use words like "devastation", "crushing", "disastrous", and other equally extreme words to describe the way I feel right now. And then I check myself because these are not appropriate words at all, considering the truly devastating, crushing and disastrous events that happen in people's lives. So, more appropriately, I am sad, I am feeling a great loss, I am shocked, and I am disappointed and concerned about the immediate future.

Our wonderful, fantastic, nearly perfect nanny E quit today. I just said goodbye to her 20 minutes ago. This was a bombshell this morning; I didn't see it coming at all. I was pretty sure she was happy here, I knew that we got along well and she was friends with our other staff, and I knew we paid her well. On the other hand, she speaks English better than any other nanny/maid I've met here, and she is smart and uses common sense, which is also hard to come by here. Knowing this there was always a thought in the back of my mind that it wouldn't last forever. But, I had hope that she would be with us as long as we stay in Indo. I had plans that if she had a baby she could bring him/her to work, or once LC was going to school some mornings we could help her pay for classes if she wanted to further her education, etc. Just random thoughts and plans for helping her reach whatever goals she has for her life. Instead, however, she had an offer we can't compete with.

She worked for a family in Taiwan for 3 years long ago, so she speaks Taiwanese and some Mandarin (in addition of course to Javanese, Bahasa Indonesia, and English - like I said, she's very skilled). Some agent contacted her a couple months ago to ask her to move to Taiwan to work for a family who was having a hard time finding a good maid who speaks Taiwanese and English. She debated for a long time, as this move means leaving her husband and family, and a job she likes. But the extra money she'll earn (almost 4 times what we pay her) will go a long ways toward helping her and her husband to buy a house and hopefully start a family soon after. I understand this, and I'm happy for her that she'll be able to earn more money. I'm not excited for her exactly, because I know she's giving up a lot to go.

Life is tough. Is life ever easy for any adult? I suppose if you compare hardships on this planet then yes, of course, life is easy for some. Losing family members, struggling against starvation or HIV/AIDS or poverty, losing the life you know due to war, etc...these are hardships. This is when you use the terms devastation, disaster, crushing. However, life is totally relative. In comparison, some of us live very blessed lives, which if we are honest with ourselves and aware of the world around us, we are thankful for. But this doesn't mean we don't experience hardships relative to the life we live. E has had to make a tough decision, and it will be hard on her and her family for the next couple years until she returns. This will be their hardship, and ours to a lesser degree as well. But hopefully it will be a relatively easy hardship, and in the end she will attain the goals she wants for her and her family.

We will really miss her. She had become like a member of our family. And maybe, just maybe we will be able to find a replacement who is almost as good.

C-isms

Here are a couple "C-isms" - funny little things C says or does. Unfortunately most of them happen randomly and I don't write them down, and so I forget them soon after. But here are just a couple that I managed to remember.

C: "The poop isn't coming out"

B: "Why not?"

C: "Maybe it's sleeping"

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J, randomly singing "Watcha, watcha, watcha watcha want, want..."

C: "Sandwiches!"

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School sends home a weekly report and a monthly book of the artwork and writing that C does. There are a few gems from this past month:

In practicing his listening skills, C said that "beautiful means something that makes your heart happy". Um, do I have the sweetest 3 year old EVER?!

C is quite taken with dinosaurs, volcanoes and monsters . They've even replaced cars as his favorite things to play with and draw. So you'll see a theme here in his drawings:

- writing an R with some other squiggles: "This is an R monster. It doesn't have legs"

- a drawing similar to that above but with more lines and squiggles: "It's mommy. She is going to see a volcano with Nana. They are going to see a big volcano, but it didn't explode."

- a drawing of a dinosaur, and a pretty good drawing at that: "This is a dinosaur. He is mad. He is stomping his feet. He is mad because the other dinosaurs are not happy and he is going to kill them." (I'm not thrilled with the "killing" talk but I guess that's bound to happen when talking about dinosaurs and monsters.)

- a drawing of 2 flowers: "This is a flower. It has legs and poo coming out. She forget to go to the toilet."

- a drawing of a baby (big head and face and 2 legs. No body, who needs a body?!): "This is my brother. He is not crying. He is smiling. He has two arms, two legs, two eyes, one nose and a mouth".

Photo of C going on his first school field trip

Independent C

Recently it feels that C is really asserting his independence and growing up in a big way. This past week there were several occasions when I felt my first little baby boy slipping through my fingers, being replaced by this Big Boy. Earlier in the week C had a play date at a friend's house. He's been to friend's houses before of course, but someone from our house had always been with him at the house. When we were discussing the plans for him to go to the friend's house, I asked our nanny to pick him up from school and then ask C whether he wanted her to go with him or not. I already had the feeling that he wouldn't want her to stay. When they got to his friend's house the nanny walked him inside and evidently he told her very strongly that she was not to stay and he could stay there by himself!!!

Then, a couple days later I came home to find C playing at home with 3 kids from the complex who are between the ages of 8-10. He was totally in his element, blabbering away to them, showing him his house and his cat and his baby brother and his fish, etc. It was very cute, helped greatly by the fact these kids are just as sweet as C. Then one of them today came knocking on our door to see if he could play (I'm sure he wasn't her first choice, but it still made me and him happy) There are many wonderful aspects about this complex, and I think the opportunity for C and LC to play with kids of varying ages is one of them. I think most kids of that age wouldn't give preschoolers the time of day, but in this complex they often play together.

Then on Saturday C and I went with some friends to a big water park in Jakarta. We had a blast! And C was game to go on all the big boy slides and was much less hesitant than he normally is. Of course I still had to go down all the slides with him, but just the same he wasn't afraid to go down them in the first place. We even flipped over at the bottom of one of them (going down on an intertube) and we both were totally submerged. He was frightened about the experience but he was still willing to go down it again.

So this week has been full of events proving that C is really growing up. I'm mostly happy. Of course I don't want him to stay little forever and especially with having to take care of LC I need him to become more independent, etc. But he's still my first baby and it's a little hard to watch him becoming his own little guy who doesn't need his mom as much as he did before. It's a positive step though, and hopefully the free flowing hugs and kisses I receive from him won't stop for a long time to come.