Expat paddywack

I thought you may be interested in hearing more about the expatriate (expat) community here in Jakarta. Compared to my Peace Corps days and my travels for work around Africa, the community is very different here. I had been assuming that it was an Asia - Africa difference, seeing as Asia is farther along the development road than Africa and there is far more private enterprise in Asia. I have mentioned before that my previous travels have routinely brought me in touch with expats from the development community, and few others. Here, on the other hand, it is the opposite. Only when I am at work do I meet expats from the development community. I have the definite impression that we are a relatively small bunch, completely dwarfed by private industries (oil - with all its related businesses to support it - being the big player, and then a random assortment of people in food, finance, accounting, banking, real estate development, etc).

Lately, however, when discussing this subject with friends I have learned that Jakarta (and Indonesia?) may be unique even within Asia. One woman who lived several years in Vietnam and another who has lived in Singapore and Korea said that the community here is quite clicky. They thought it may be because the community here is so large that when planning a social event you often have to choose who to invite. These women and another who lived in Mongolia said that they're surprised here by how few women work. Evidently where they've lived the wives usually held down part-time or full-time jobs, but here we are a minority. There are plenty of opportunities for partners who want to work here. While getting a work permit is difficult, it is common to work under the table. All of the men I know who have accompanied their wives here have found full-time jobs. On the other hand, there is so much to do here that there are plenty of non-work opportunities as well. You can pursue anything that interests you here and there are plenty of volunteer activities which many of the women are involved in.

When I first arrived I was amazed at how easy it was to meet people and make friends. Within a few months, however, I realized why. You have to constantly make new friends here because everyone is always leaving! A few months after I arrived I knew 3 families who were moving away. Now, a year later, there is another mass exodus. I have 5 pretty close friends who are all moving away this summer, and I know another 2 women who are also moving. Can you imagine if you lost 5 friends in one summer?! Ugh... It's a bit devastating, and I don't really feel like having to make more friends! But I will, and I must, and it will all be good. Hopefully.

I have to say this may be the number 1 reason why the expat life may not be for me for the long term. Many of my friends here plan to do this for their foreseeable future, probably until their kids are out of school. We've thought about it. There are many, many advantages to this sort of life. On the other hand, being away from family and close friends is really difficult, and the constant ferris wheel of revolving friendships that defines the expat life is draining. Like everything in life, there is give and take, and it's just a matter of figuring out which gives and which takes are the most important.