We've been in my hometown almost a week now. The weather has been gorgeous - so much nicer than way-too-hot-and-humid North Carolina or pollution-hazed Jakarta. Just lovely. And the evenings have been long and summery and fragrant.
I lived here for 11 years straight, between the ages of 5-16, and then on and off for another 7 years finishing high school and coming back while at college. My mother still lives in the house I grew up in, although the back half has been turned into student housing. But it still feels like home, and I guess it will always feel that way. I just can't imagine North Carolina, or DC, or anywhere ever feeling so deeply like home as it does here. I can't imagine it, but maybe once we've lived in one place for several years and we are entrenched in the boys' school and jobs, and surrounded by friends and routine, somewhere else could feel so much like home.
One of my favorite things to do here is to stroll through my childhood neighborhood in the evenings. No other neighborhood compares. There are old trees forming a canopy over the streets, a mixture of houses with different architecture styles and owner styles, sidewalks over flat land, chirping birds and hopping bunnies. And it is familiar and brings back wonderful memories of youth and care-free summer days and silly-girl chats.
On those walks I take a deep breath and can smell those days. There was so much giggling and friendships and insecurities, boy notes and homework and wide-open possibilities. It's funny to think of myself in those days, not knowing who I'd grow up to be or where I'd end up. I know I imagined exciting adventures across the oceans, but I never imagined the beaches and Hindu temples of Bali or sitting around with people I loved around a fire in Mali. I imagined being happily married with 2 children (although both not boys!), and for that I am so grateful. I am so grateful for it all. I think my little girl self would be very happy with the dreams her adult self has been able to realize.
Now, as I stroll the sidewalks I walked at some of the most significant stages of my life, my thoughts don't wander so much towards the dreams of my future. I suppose they are much more "adult" thoughts now centered on the present, focusing on the boys' needs, shopping lists, relationship matters, career decisions, family health issues, making new friends and beginning a new life chapter. And once again, as I find myself at a significant crossroads in my life, I am happy I have the good fortune to stroll those same lovely streets to help my mind work it all out.
Showing posts with label Moving Back. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Moving Back. Show all posts
Friday, July 15, 2011
Friday, July 1, 2011
Transitions
...are tough. Plain and simple, tough. Even when they're exciting, even when they're adventurous, even when they're joyful, they are also challenging, stressful, new, scary... And as much as you may be prepared for them, mentally and emotionally, there are still some rough waters as you swim to the other side.
We only left Jakarta two weeks ago, but in some ways it feels like an eternity. And even though most things are happening the way I expected, all this change and difference is still challenging. By all accounts our temporary apartment is great and comfortable, but it's still temporary and I'm still dying to get into our new house. We are lucky to already have a few friends here, but it is summer and they are busy and I am feeling a bit lonely. The boys have been pretty good considering the massive changes that are rocking their world, but they are with each other constantly and fighting heaps and driving me crazy. We were expecting our shipment from Jakarta to be delivered the end of July, but it now looks like it will be delivered the middle of August and just that two week difference is completely throwing off my schedule and my expectations.
So really, everything is going well and for the most part the way I expected and what I was prepared for. And yet. And yet it's still just - tough. And for this it is going as expected as well. I knew it would be tough. But it's still the getting through it. And I still want to complain. :)
The boys and I have been having fun rediscovering the area. I feel confident that we will be happy here and it will be an excellent place for the boys to grow up. Everyone is really nice. And that's saying a lot considering where we are coming from - a country rich in personal kindness! I suspected that being in a small town that is surrounded by two big cities would be a pretty ideal situation for me, and I still believe that to be true. It provides an intimacy and down-home feel that I grew up with in Wisconsin, but also supplies a diversity and cultural richness that I crave. The area may fall short in global understanding, but people have told me it does exist and is growing. I feel positive about our decision and once we are really settled, I hope we will know it was the right one.
For now I will endure the transition the best I can, continue to repeat my motto of the summer, 'it is what it is', and try to keep smiling.
We only left Jakarta two weeks ago, but in some ways it feels like an eternity. And even though most things are happening the way I expected, all this change and difference is still challenging. By all accounts our temporary apartment is great and comfortable, but it's still temporary and I'm still dying to get into our new house. We are lucky to already have a few friends here, but it is summer and they are busy and I am feeling a bit lonely. The boys have been pretty good considering the massive changes that are rocking their world, but they are with each other constantly and fighting heaps and driving me crazy. We were expecting our shipment from Jakarta to be delivered the end of July, but it now looks like it will be delivered the middle of August and just that two week difference is completely throwing off my schedule and my expectations.
So really, everything is going well and for the most part the way I expected and what I was prepared for. And yet. And yet it's still just - tough. And for this it is going as expected as well. I knew it would be tough. But it's still the getting through it. And I still want to complain. :)
The boys and I have been having fun rediscovering the area. I feel confident that we will be happy here and it will be an excellent place for the boys to grow up. Everyone is really nice. And that's saying a lot considering where we are coming from - a country rich in personal kindness! I suspected that being in a small town that is surrounded by two big cities would be a pretty ideal situation for me, and I still believe that to be true. It provides an intimacy and down-home feel that I grew up with in Wisconsin, but also supplies a diversity and cultural richness that I crave. The area may fall short in global understanding, but people have told me it does exist and is growing. I feel positive about our decision and once we are really settled, I hope we will know it was the right one.
For now I will endure the transition the best I can, continue to repeat my motto of the summer, 'it is what it is', and try to keep smiling.
Saturday, June 11, 2011
A mixed bag
It is a funny ride, this roller coaster of moving. Every day seems to reach new emotional highs and lows, new loves and hates, new levels of excitement and distress. We have known for months that we would be leaving Indonesia. We haven't always known where we were going, but we knew it was time for us to say selamat jalan to the country we have called home for 4.5 years. It wasn't an easy decision, but we always knew it would be one we would make eventually. Almost 5 years is long enough to live abroad, at least in a challenging city like Jakarta and so far from our real home.
A few months ago this city and this country were driving me nuts. Everything about it was wrong, nothing worked, it was all frustrating and stupid, it was dirty and smelly, etc. Fortunately at the time I recognized this for what it was - my brain's way of detaching myself emotionally from a place and from people I have loved. If you accept the approaching departure, you must look forward instead of dwelling on everything that has been and everything that is wonderful. And in order to do that, it seems to me that many people going through a major move deal with it by hating the place they have to leave. It makes sense to me, and is probably (hopefully!) a very healthy process. And I got to the other side of it - I still love it here, I still recognize the wonderful things about this place, I know I will miss it immensely. But I also recognize all that is horrible and all the things I am looking forward to bidding a fond farewell!
In this light, a review of what I find lovely about living in Jakarta and Indonesia, and all that I'm looking forward to in America.
What I will miss...
- Indonesians are incredibly kind and gentle
- There is never a dull day here
- The challenges of living in a foreign country push you continuously
- All the color and richness of this place that make it unique and interesting (for example, I have never tired of seeing the carts on the side of the road selling food or house essentials, or of people wearing batik clothing, etc)
- Hearing foreign languages all the time
- Always seeing people who look different from us, it's not a sea of white
- My lifestyle here has been luxurious, in so many ways
- Financial comfort
- Our house staff who takes care of us almost every day
- My free time
- Our ability to have our nanny work almost any night we ask, with short notice
- The spas!!! (massages, facials, reflexology, manis and pedis, etc)
- The relatively cheap and easy travel around Asia
- Tropical islands, adventure travel
- Swimming pool in our backyard
- Our wonderful, safe complex which has loads of kids and playgrounds
- Our good friends
- So much time to get to hang out with friends
- Jakarta International School
- Premier movie theaters (lazy boy recliner, blankets, meal service)
- Nice indoor playcenters
- Great Asian food
- Bali is only a 90 minute flight away
What I will not miss about Jakarta/Indonesia...
- The traffic! The motorcycles!
- The pollution!
- Too many people, everywhere
- Constantly getting sick, weird diseases
- The threat of Dengue fever
- Not being able to return things to stores
- Being surrounded by people who don't use critical thinking skills
- Lack of nice parks and places to go outside within Jakarta
- Having nice parks and beaches within 60 miles but that take hours to get to due to traffic
- The feeling that this life is not normal
- Being so far away physically from family and friends back home
- 12 hour time difference between here and home
- The 35 hours it takes to get home in the US
- The constant challenges - nothing is ever easy
- Rotating stock outs in the stores - you never know how long something will be available
- Having to go to several stores to find what you need
- Having to go to duty free stores for affordable wine and liquor, but these stores aren't always open and there is always a limit on how much you can buy
What I am looking forward to...
- Fresh air!
- Change of seasons
- The ease of living in the US
- No real traffic in Chapel Hill!
- You can find everything you need in just one store (OMG - Greatland Target I love you!)
- Seeing my family often, talking to them any time of day
- Road trips
- Staying in one place - making friends who most likely won't be moving away
- Owning a house and making it ours
- Driving. Driving on big wide roads without food carts, motorcycles, and too many cars crowding them
- Bike rides
- Hikes, camping
I thought I would write a list of what I'm not looking forward to about America, but I think I should end on a high note! Plus what I love about living here is pretty much the antithesis of what I don't like about the US.
We are one day into packing up our house. The house is more than half boxed and reality has set in with a huge shove forward! Definitely no turning back now!
A few months ago this city and this country were driving me nuts. Everything about it was wrong, nothing worked, it was all frustrating and stupid, it was dirty and smelly, etc. Fortunately at the time I recognized this for what it was - my brain's way of detaching myself emotionally from a place and from people I have loved. If you accept the approaching departure, you must look forward instead of dwelling on everything that has been and everything that is wonderful. And in order to do that, it seems to me that many people going through a major move deal with it by hating the place they have to leave. It makes sense to me, and is probably (hopefully!) a very healthy process. And I got to the other side of it - I still love it here, I still recognize the wonderful things about this place, I know I will miss it immensely. But I also recognize all that is horrible and all the things I am looking forward to bidding a fond farewell!
In this light, a review of what I find lovely about living in Jakarta and Indonesia, and all that I'm looking forward to in America.
What I will miss...
- Indonesians are incredibly kind and gentle
- There is never a dull day here
- The challenges of living in a foreign country push you continuously
- All the color and richness of this place that make it unique and interesting (for example, I have never tired of seeing the carts on the side of the road selling food or house essentials, or of people wearing batik clothing, etc)
- Hearing foreign languages all the time
- Always seeing people who look different from us, it's not a sea of white
- My lifestyle here has been luxurious, in so many ways
- Financial comfort
- Our house staff who takes care of us almost every day
- My free time
- Our ability to have our nanny work almost any night we ask, with short notice
- The spas!!! (massages, facials, reflexology, manis and pedis, etc)
- The relatively cheap and easy travel around Asia
- Tropical islands, adventure travel
- Swimming pool in our backyard
- Our wonderful, safe complex which has loads of kids and playgrounds
- Our good friends
- So much time to get to hang out with friends
- Jakarta International School
- Premier movie theaters (lazy boy recliner, blankets, meal service)
- Nice indoor playcenters
- Great Asian food
- Bali is only a 90 minute flight away
What I will not miss about Jakarta/Indonesia...
- The traffic! The motorcycles!
- The pollution!
- Too many people, everywhere
- Constantly getting sick, weird diseases
- The threat of Dengue fever
- Not being able to return things to stores
- Being surrounded by people who don't use critical thinking skills
- Lack of nice parks and places to go outside within Jakarta
- Having nice parks and beaches within 60 miles but that take hours to get to due to traffic
- The feeling that this life is not normal
- Being so far away physically from family and friends back home
- 12 hour time difference between here and home
- The 35 hours it takes to get home in the US
- The constant challenges - nothing is ever easy
- Rotating stock outs in the stores - you never know how long something will be available
- Having to go to several stores to find what you need
- Having to go to duty free stores for affordable wine and liquor, but these stores aren't always open and there is always a limit on how much you can buy
What I am looking forward to...
- Fresh air!
- Change of seasons
- The ease of living in the US
- No real traffic in Chapel Hill!
- You can find everything you need in just one store (OMG - Greatland Target I love you!)
- Seeing my family often, talking to them any time of day
- Road trips
- Staying in one place - making friends who most likely won't be moving away
- Owning a house and making it ours
- Driving. Driving on big wide roads without food carts, motorcycles, and too many cars crowding them
- Bike rides
- Hikes, camping
I thought I would write a list of what I'm not looking forward to about America, but I think I should end on a high note! Plus what I love about living here is pretty much the antithesis of what I don't like about the US.
We are one day into packing up our house. The house is more than half boxed and reality has set in with a huge shove forward! Definitely no turning back now!
Sunday, June 5, 2011
Home sweet home
J and I bought a house last month! We are now two weeks away from officially owning a home again, this time in Chapel Hill, North Carolina.
In 7 days I saw over 30 houses so I feel confident in our decision to purchase this house, although poor J flew in on a Thursday night, saw 6 of my top houses on Friday, and then we put in the offer on Saturday. For him it feels impulsive, but he is happy with the house too. In many ways it is a house I dream of owning. It is a house I will be happy to raise our children in. It is a house I can easily imagine sharing with dinner and house guests, full of laughter, kids running around, chinking wine glasses. The house looks like The American Dream.
The inside is contemporary, bright and airy. There is a beautiful screened porch opening off of the family room and I know those doors will be open at all possible times. The kitchen is also gorgeous, although I am worried about it being too small. And there are 6 bedrooms. I'm feeling a bit ridiculous saying that - our house has 6 bedrooms!?! And I am definitely worried about cleaning this large house! But it is beautiful, and we will have plenty of space to live in for many, many years to come.
The house is on a cul-de-sac on .25 acres. There is a beautiful backyard with a great jungle gym for the kids, and from what I hear there are lots of kids in the neighborhood. Our neighborhood is located adjacent to a large housing development that has several playgrounds, a community swimming pool, and a small town area with restaurants, grocery store, pediatrician offices, cafes, and boutiques which are all within walking distance of our house. I was hoping for exactly this and can't wait to walk over with the kids for coffee and treats!
We are excited. We are nervous. We are crazy stressed. We are anxious. We are curious. We are uncertain. We are expectant. We are hopeful.
The next two weeks will be absolutely insane! But at the end of it we will be back in the US and own a lovely new home!
In 7 days I saw over 30 houses so I feel confident in our decision to purchase this house, although poor J flew in on a Thursday night, saw 6 of my top houses on Friday, and then we put in the offer on Saturday. For him it feels impulsive, but he is happy with the house too. In many ways it is a house I dream of owning. It is a house I will be happy to raise our children in. It is a house I can easily imagine sharing with dinner and house guests, full of laughter, kids running around, chinking wine glasses. The house looks like The American Dream.
The inside is contemporary, bright and airy. There is a beautiful screened porch opening off of the family room and I know those doors will be open at all possible times. The kitchen is also gorgeous, although I am worried about it being too small. And there are 6 bedrooms. I'm feeling a bit ridiculous saying that - our house has 6 bedrooms!?! And I am definitely worried about cleaning this large house! But it is beautiful, and we will have plenty of space to live in for many, many years to come.
The house is on a cul-de-sac on .25 acres. There is a beautiful backyard with a great jungle gym for the kids, and from what I hear there are lots of kids in the neighborhood. Our neighborhood is located adjacent to a large housing development that has several playgrounds, a community swimming pool, and a small town area with restaurants, grocery store, pediatrician offices, cafes, and boutiques which are all within walking distance of our house. I was hoping for exactly this and can't wait to walk over with the kids for coffee and treats!
We are excited. We are nervous. We are crazy stressed. We are anxious. We are curious. We are uncertain. We are expectant. We are hopeful.
The next two weeks will be absolutely insane! But at the end of it we will be back in the US and own a lovely new home!
Sunday, March 20, 2011
The Messy Details
I've lived overseas several times before this, and I've loved all of those amazing experiences. Each one has been radically different, and this experience is no exception. Two of the biggest differences with the move to Indonesia was moving overseas as a family, and moving overseas with so many belongings. Every other time I've "moved", it's just been me - simply me and the 2 suitcases and 1 carry-on luggage + purse allowed. So it was a huge jump to go from 1 adult to 2 adults and 2 kids, and from airplane luggage to cargo container!
For my own selfish reasons (tools to de-stress) and hoping you may be interested in knowing just what craziness is in store for us over the next 5 months, I'm going to share with you my to-do list. :)
-Research Chapel Hill neighborhoods and schools
-Look at houses online (this I admit is a joy - I happily spend hours at this!)
-Make plane and hotel reservations for our 3 final trips in Asia (also obviously fun but a lot of work)
-Contact a realtor, get pre-approval for a mortgage, etc.
-Research type of car to buy
-Research, decide on and sign the boys up for summer camp
-Research, decide on and sign LC up for pre-school
-Make plane, hotel, and rental car reservations for house hunting trip
-Get power of attorney for friend in Jakarta while we're away on house hunting trip
-Travel to CH on house hunting trip
-Look at dozens of houses and buy a house!
-Find out what our shipment allowance is
-Moving company to house to provide estimate
-Do an inventory of our house belongings with photos
-Decide what we will sell here and for how much
-Sell said belongings
-Sell our car here, transfer title
-Get a few final pieces of furniture made here
-Reserve a serviced apartment for the weeks in Chapel Hill while we wait for our shipment to arrive
-Make plane reservations for move back home
-Research and complete documents for moving cat home with us
-Get medical, dental and vet records
-Get school records from JIS and TT
-Print photos and get framed
-Make photo albums
-Write recommendation letters and find staff new jobs
-Decide summer trip plans and make US internal plane reservations (haven't seen the parents, aka grandparents for 1 year!)
Oh my god this list is making me ill...but it continues.
-Organize our going away party
-Cancel cable, utilities, final lease inspection or whatever, etc.
-Make a hotel reservation for last few nights in Jakarta while house is packed up
-Make car rental reservation for first few days in CH
-Cancel car insurance
-Sign up for health insurance for US
-Cancel gym membership
-Cancel J's cell phone
-Get exit-only permit to leave the country
-Decide what luggage we will carry on the plane home (what we will need with us for next 6 weeks)
-Packers come to house for 3 days - chaos!
-Final haircut, pedi and mani, massage and facial (but of course!)
-Say goodbye to our friends and wonderful staff (NOT looking forward to that one!)
-35 hours getting home - 2 adults, 2 kids and 1 cat
-exhausted and bleary eyed, arrival at RDU (oh my god!), pick up rental car and go to temporary lodgings
-Buy a car
-Close on house
-Register C for school
-What needs to be done to the house? I don't know yet, but I'm sure there will be something - organize it!
-Ah, sign up for cell phone plan
-Set up utilities, cable, internet, etc. for new house
-Kids and I go visit the grandparents
-Return to CH, packers come and unload the boxes
-Kids spend days in summer camp and I unpack the boxes in our new home!
-Kids start school and we begin a whole new chapter!
Whew, I feel like I just ran a marathon in my brain. Maybe I shouldn't have just written this all out, it's making me even MORE STRESSED! Whew, take deep breaths, take deep breaths, it will all work out...
Anyone need a stiff drink??
For my own selfish reasons (tools to de-stress) and hoping you may be interested in knowing just what craziness is in store for us over the next 5 months, I'm going to share with you my to-do list. :)
-Research Chapel Hill neighborhoods and schools
-Look at houses online (this I admit is a joy - I happily spend hours at this!)
-Make plane and hotel reservations for our 3 final trips in Asia (also obviously fun but a lot of work)
-Contact a realtor, get pre-approval for a mortgage, etc.
-Research type of car to buy
-Research, decide on and sign the boys up for summer camp
-Research, decide on and sign LC up for pre-school
-Make plane, hotel, and rental car reservations for house hunting trip
-Get power of attorney for friend in Jakarta while we're away on house hunting trip
-Travel to CH on house hunting trip
-Look at dozens of houses and buy a house!
-Find out what our shipment allowance is
-Moving company to house to provide estimate
-Do an inventory of our house belongings with photos
-Decide what we will sell here and for how much
-Sell said belongings
-Sell our car here, transfer title
-Get a few final pieces of furniture made here
-Reserve a serviced apartment for the weeks in Chapel Hill while we wait for our shipment to arrive
-Make plane reservations for move back home
-Research and complete documents for moving cat home with us
-Get medical, dental and vet records
-Get school records from JIS and TT
-Print photos and get framed
-Make photo albums
-Write recommendation letters and find staff new jobs
-Decide summer trip plans and make US internal plane reservations (haven't seen the parents, aka grandparents for 1 year!)
Oh my god this list is making me ill...but it continues.
-Organize our going away party
-Cancel cable, utilities, final lease inspection or whatever, etc.
-Make a hotel reservation for last few nights in Jakarta while house is packed up
-Make car rental reservation for first few days in CH
-Cancel car insurance
-Sign up for health insurance for US
-Cancel gym membership
-Cancel J's cell phone
-Get exit-only permit to leave the country
-Decide what luggage we will carry on the plane home (what we will need with us for next 6 weeks)
-Packers come to house for 3 days - chaos!
-Final haircut, pedi and mani, massage and facial (but of course!)
-Say goodbye to our friends and wonderful staff (NOT looking forward to that one!)
-35 hours getting home - 2 adults, 2 kids and 1 cat
-exhausted and bleary eyed, arrival at RDU (oh my god!), pick up rental car and go to temporary lodgings
-Buy a car
-Close on house
-Register C for school
-What needs to be done to the house? I don't know yet, but I'm sure there will be something - organize it!
-Ah, sign up for cell phone plan
-Set up utilities, cable, internet, etc. for new house
-Kids and I go visit the grandparents
-Return to CH, packers come and unload the boxes
-Kids spend days in summer camp and I unpack the boxes in our new home!
-Kids start school and we begin a whole new chapter!
Whew, I feel like I just ran a marathon in my brain. Maybe I shouldn't have just written this all out, it's making me even MORE STRESSED! Whew, take deep breaths, take deep breaths, it will all work out...
Anyone need a stiff drink??
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