Friday musings

I'm having a very introspective day, with thoughts and ideas and emotions flowing from one to another in a fluid and nonsensical dance. The cause, I'm sure, is due to the 6 days I have spent alone, to the wonderful book I am reading, to the blog entries I'm browsing that seem to mirror my own ponderings, to the fact that I'm about to become a mother for the second time. Really, it should read "a very introspective week" considering all the alone time I've spent in Singapore, but I was too caught up in watching an entire season of 24 to spend any time thinking! But today I have moved away from terrorism and white house conspiracies to reading about a fictional woman's realization that her mother is insane and that she has fallen out of love with her husband. Talk about a reversal of entertainment!

So this week I've had a lot of me time, and I'm eating it up. I've done some out and about activities, but mostly I've just been a couch or computer chair potato. I'm relishing in it, because it's temporary and because I know it will be a long time before I have this again. I've spent time staring out the window at the Singapore skyline, watching ships go past out at sea, or imagining lives in all the little apartment windows I see. I've washed baby clothes, carefully folding them, smelling them, remembering C when he was a baby, and imagining who this next little guy will be and how he will impact our lives and what our family will feel like years from now. I've talked with two best friends and my mom on the phone and been caught up on their lives, relishing in the easy chatter and the love of close friends and family. I've talked to C on the phone many times, and can't quite believe how different it is being away from my son now that he can actually talk to me and tell me about his day. He has the most precious voice in the world and hearing it over phone lines makes me remember how difficult it must be for his grandparents to only hear this over the phone. I've spent time reading my favorite blogs and loving how the internet has opened up this whole new community that allows for connections I would never otherwise have. The book I'm reading now, The Mermaid's Chair, is sweeping me off to a quiet, peaceful Carolina island full of gorgeous imagery, as well as the heartache and torment of imagining falling out of love with a spouse of 20 years. I can't keep up with all the thoughts that are whirling around in my brain today. I actually need J and C to come calm me down!

But unfortunately I need to bring myself back to reality and get some tasks accomplished on my to-do list: a fridge without milk, a hospital tour to arrange, a shower that suddenly has no hot water. I think I prefer the philosophical musings...