Thursday, July 19, 2007

Home, Sweet Home

I wasn’t sure coming back to Jakarta would ever feel so good (we came back last Friday). Especially when leaving the clean air, beautiful parks, great restaurants, and amazing efficiency that is Singapore. But it does feel so good to be home. We have our baby things now, we have help again, C has people other than his boring parents to play with, we have friends to hang out with, and we have space to spread out. I’m sure within a matter of a few weeks Jakarta will start to annoy us again, but for right now it feels great. And as we drove back from the airport, back onto our street where there were small children riding their bikes and men pushing carts selling nasi goreng and neighborhood guards chatting to eachother, I knew that this is a better place to be than Singapore. Jakarta is oh so much more colorful and interesting.

Then again, I’ve been thinking a lot about home. I’ve spent enough time living very far away from home to know about homesickness. What has surprised me this time around is that it has snuck up on me sooner than I expected. The reason, I believe, can mostly be found in my 2 wonderful sons. They have a fantastic family back home and they are missing quality time with them. We lived within walking distance of some of our best friends who also had children C’s age, and I so miss walking to the neighborhood park to meet them or sitting on our back patio having a bbq while the kids played in the back yard. And I have good friends back home who have just had their second babies or will soon, and I can’t believe that I probably won’t meet them and vice versa until LC is 1.5 years old. Sometimes I have asked myself if we were crazy to leave all that we had. And sometimes it feels that we were. But not for long, because I know that we are fulfilling a dream to live overseas and we would never be content until we realized that dream. I know that the experience our boys are having here will open up their worlds like nothing else can, and I believe they will be the richer and more wonderful for it. I know that career-wise it was a good move for both of us, especially J. I know that our friends and family still love us and that won’t stop no matter where we are. But, it is still hard at times to be away, to know the things that we are missing and what our boys are missing.

For now though, I’m going to focus on the fact that this feels like home, this place half way across the world in a tropical climate full of exotic food and dengue fever. And that before I know it this experience will be over and I don’t want to regret spending too much time thinking of my American home.

1 comment:

Pinko Grammy said...

You have always been such a smart girl. You will be home before you know it, and the mind-widening influences of interntional living will have already done their magic on your babies, giving them a best shot at the hopeful and integrated future we all want for our children. The sooner you are back the better as far as we here are all concerned, but I know that you will be busy living in the present, which, as always, is the best plan.

Here we had little Ra's first birthday, in this case a particularly meaningful milestone, and Ejay is starting to speak to us in between her swimming and dance lessons. And I just got back from a conference in Vienna where I did a little international sucking up myself. Sooper sooper sooper. . .

Till later,
Pinko Grammy