Strolling through

We've been in my hometown almost a week now. The weather has been gorgeous - so much nicer than way-too-hot-and-humid North Carolina or pollution-hazed Jakarta. Just lovely. And the evenings have been long and summery and fragrant.

I lived here for 11 years straight, between the ages of 5-16, and then on and off for another 7 years finishing high school and coming back while at college. My mother still lives in the house I grew up in, although the back half has been turned into student housing. But it still feels like home, and I guess it will always feel that way. I just can't imagine North Carolina, or DC, or anywhere ever feeling so deeply like home as it does here. I can't imagine it, but maybe once we've lived in one place for several years and we are entrenched in the boys' school and jobs, and surrounded by friends and routine, somewhere else could feel so much like home.

One of my favorite things to do here is to stroll through my childhood neighborhood in the evenings. No other neighborhood compares. There are old trees forming a canopy over the streets, a mixture of houses with different architecture styles and owner styles, sidewalks over flat land, chirping birds and hopping bunnies. And it is familiar and brings back wonderful memories of youth and care-free summer days and silly-girl chats.

On those walks I take a deep breath and can smell those days. There was so much giggling and friendships and insecurities, boy notes and homework and wide-open possibilities. It's funny to think of myself in those days, not knowing who I'd grow up to be or where I'd end up. I know I imagined exciting adventures across the oceans, but I never imagined the beaches and Hindu temples of Bali or sitting around with people I loved around a fire in Mali. I imagined being happily married with 2 children (although both not boys!), and for that I am so grateful. I am so grateful for it all. I think my little girl self would be very happy with the dreams her adult self has been able to realize.

Now, as I stroll the sidewalks I walked at some of the most significant stages of my life, my thoughts don't wander so much towards the dreams of my future. I suppose they are much more "adult" thoughts now centered on the present, focusing on the boys' needs, shopping lists, relationship matters, career decisions, family health issues, making new friends and beginning a new life chapter. And once again, as I find myself at a significant crossroads in my life, I am happy I have the good fortune to stroll those same lovely streets to help my mind work it all out.