Saturday, April 12, 2008

Loss

I'm tempted to use words like "devastation", "crushing", "disastrous", and other equally extreme words to describe the way I feel right now. And then I check myself because these are not appropriate words at all, considering the truly devastating, crushing and disastrous events that happen in people's lives. So, more appropriately, I am sad, I am feeling a great loss, I am shocked, and I am disappointed and concerned about the immediate future.

Our wonderful, fantastic, nearly perfect nanny E quit today. I just said goodbye to her 20 minutes ago. This was a bombshell this morning; I didn't see it coming at all. I was pretty sure she was happy here, I knew that we got along well and she was friends with our other staff, and I knew we paid her well. On the other hand, she speaks English better than any other nanny/maid I've met here, and she is smart and uses common sense, which is also hard to come by here. Knowing this there was always a thought in the back of my mind that it wouldn't last forever. But, I had hope that she would be with us as long as we stay in Indo. I had plans that if she had a baby she could bring him/her to work, or once LC was going to school some mornings we could help her pay for classes if she wanted to further her education, etc. Just random thoughts and plans for helping her reach whatever goals she has for her life. Instead, however, she had an offer we can't compete with.

She worked for a family in Taiwan for 3 years long ago, so she speaks Taiwanese and some Mandarin (in addition of course to Javanese, Bahasa Indonesia, and English - like I said, she's very skilled). Some agent contacted her a couple months ago to ask her to move to Taiwan to work for a family who was having a hard time finding a good maid who speaks Taiwanese and English. She debated for a long time, as this move means leaving her husband and family, and a job she likes. But the extra money she'll earn (almost 4 times what we pay her) will go a long ways toward helping her and her husband to buy a house and hopefully start a family soon after. I understand this, and I'm happy for her that she'll be able to earn more money. I'm not excited for her exactly, because I know she's giving up a lot to go.

Life is tough. Is life ever easy for any adult? I suppose if you compare hardships on this planet then yes, of course, life is easy for some. Losing family members, struggling against starvation or HIV/AIDS or poverty, losing the life you know due to war, etc...these are hardships. This is when you use the terms devastation, disaster, crushing. However, life is totally relative. In comparison, some of us live very blessed lives, which if we are honest with ourselves and aware of the world around us, we are thankful for. But this doesn't mean we don't experience hardships relative to the life we live. E has had to make a tough decision, and it will be hard on her and her family for the next couple years until she returns. This will be their hardship, and ours to a lesser degree as well. But hopefully it will be a relatively easy hardship, and in the end she will attain the goals she wants for her and her family.

We will really miss her. She had become like a member of our family. And maybe, just maybe we will be able to find a replacement who is almost as good.

Friday, April 11, 2008

C-isms

Here are a couple "C-isms" - funny little things C says or does. Unfortunately most of them happen randomly and I don't write them down, and so I forget them soon after. But here are just a couple that I managed to remember.

C: "The poop isn't coming out"

B: "Why not?"

C: "Maybe it's sleeping"
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J, randomly singing "Watcha, watcha, watcha watcha want, want..."

C: "Sandwiches!"

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School sends home a weekly report and a monthly book of the artwork and writing that C does. There are a few gems from this past month:

In practicing his listening skills, C said that "beautiful means something that makes your heart happy". Um, do I have the sweetest 3 year old EVER?!

C is quite taken with dinosaurs, volcanoes and monsters . They've even replaced cars as his favorite things to play with and draw. So you'll see a theme here in his drawings:

- writing an R with some other squiggles: "This is an R monster. It doesn't have legs"

- a drawing similar to that above but with more lines and squiggles: "It's mommy. She is going to see a volcano with Nana. They are going to see a big volcano, but it didn't explode."

- a drawing of a dinosaur, and a pretty good drawing at that: "This is a dinosaur. He is mad. He is stomping his feet. He is mad because the other dinosaurs are not happy and he is going to kill them." (I'm not thrilled with the "killing" talk but I guess that's bound to happen when talking about dinosaurs and monsters.)

- a drawing of 2 flowers: "This is a flower. It has legs and poo coming out. She forget to go to the toilet."

- a drawing of a baby (big head and face and 2 legs. No body, who needs a body?!): "This is my brother. He is not crying. He is smiling. He has two arms, two legs, two eyes, one nose and a mouth".


Photo of C going on his first school field trip

Sunday, April 6, 2008

Independent C


Recently it feels that C is really asserting his independence and growing up in a big way. This past week there were several occasions when I felt my first little baby boy slipping through my fingers, being replaced by this Big Boy. Earlier in the week C had a play date at a friend's house. He's been to friend's houses before of course, but someone from our house had always been with him at the house. When we were discussing the plans for him to go to the friend's house, I asked our nanny to pick him up from school and then ask C whether he wanted her to go with him or not. I already had the feeling that he wouldn't want her to stay. When they got to his friend's house the nanny walked him inside and evidently he told her very strongly that she was not to stay and he could stay there by himself!!!

Then, a couple days later I came home to find C playing at home with 3 kids from the complex who are between the ages of 8-10. He was totally in his element, blabbering away to them, showing him his house and his cat and his baby brother and his fish, etc. It was very cute, helped greatly by the fact these kids are just as sweet as C. Then one of them today came knocking on our door to see if he could play (I'm sure he wasn't her first choice, but it still made me and him happy) There are many wonderful aspects about this complex, and I think the opportunity for C and LC to play with kids of varying ages is one of them. I think most kids of that age wouldn't give preschoolers the time of day, but in this complex they often play together.

Then on Saturday C and I went with some friends to a big water park in Jakarta. We had a blast! And C was game to go on all the big boy slides and was much less hesitant than he normally is. Of course I still had to go down all the slides with him, but just the same he wasn't afraid to go down them in the first place. We even flipped over at the bottom of one of them (going down on an intertube) and we both were totally submerged. He was frightened about the experience but he was still willing to go down it again.

So this week has been full of events proving that C is really growing up. I'm mostly happy. Of course I don't want him to stay little forever and especially with having to take care of LC I need him to become more independent, etc. But he's still my first baby and it's a little hard to watch him becoming his own little guy who doesn't need his mom as much as he did before. It's a positive step though, and hopefully the free flowing hugs and kisses I receive from him won't stop for a long time to come.

Tuesday, March 25, 2008

Lombok and beyond

I can't remember if I've talked about this before (or if it was just a post milling about in my head that never got put down on "paper"), but one thing I really appreciate about Indonesia is the government's recognition of the multiple religions that are practiced here. One way they recognize this is through national holidays. Two of these holidays were last week (creating a very lovely 4 day weekend): one was Muslim, and the other Christian (good friday). The downside, in some respects, is this creates so many public holidays it can be difficult to get work done. But overall I think it is very smart to be so tolerant, at least officially (and in practice, in all my interactions in Indonesia so far).

J and I have decided that we need to try to get out of Jakarta more often. It is such a huge, noisy, cumbersome, polluted city that we need to get more "breaks". Having a 4 day weekend was therefore too great an opportunity to pass up. We had hoped to tack a trip to Thailand on to my planned but at that time unconfirmed work trip to Bangkok. Unfortunately confirmation was very late in arriving, and by that time the flights were already either booked or expensive. So, we decided to go instead to Lombok, the island east of Bali. We had heard good things about it, that it was beautiful with nice beaches, and quieter and less built up than Bali.

By the time we booked our trip many flights were already sold out. So, we were forced to extend our holiday to 6 days rather than 4 (oh, poor us!). With 5 nights available we decided to stay 3 nights on Lombok and 2 nights on an island off of Lombok that I had also heard about, Gili Trawangan. Our quick assessment - skip Lombok and head straight to the Gilis!

Lombok is indeed quieter than Bali. This is a good thing in general, except that it felt slower in a bit of a sad way. There were still hawkers, and they seemed a little desperate for business. Streets were pretty bare and shops opened late. But, it is low season and it was a holiday, so this might not be a very good assessment given the time of year. It's also not as unique as Bali. The Hindu religion gives Bali much of its flavor and since Lombok is predominently Muslim it didn't exude that extra color. On the other hand, the beaches are more beautiful and less crowded. On our drive between our hotel and the port to go to Gili T, we saw some gorgeous postcard-perfect beaches. And they were totally undeveloped and empty - just beaches that butted up against people's farm land or where local fisherman docked their boats. Lombok is also somewhat mountainous, so the views really were amazing.

We stayed at the Holiday Resort in Senggigi, which was a good deal. It was a bit run down, but nice enough for a good price. We stayed in a 2 bedroom apartment, and the resort has a big pool, kiddie pool, playground and kids club (staffed indoor play area) so there were plenty of distractions for C. I also have to admit that we brought our nanny along. With a 3.5 year old and a 9 month old, vacations don't tend to be very relaxing and it's hard to do anything around a baby's nap schedule. So, the vacation cost a bit more but we had a much better experience. We'll be doing that again.



We spent a half-day touring around the island near Senggigi. There's a lot to see actually, like Mount Rinjani and Kuta, but we elected to stay closer to our part of the island so we would spend less time in a car. After all, C tolerates car rides for only so long... One of our destinations was the "Monkey Forest", which consisted of a roadside stop where we could feed monkeys peanuts (or bananas, which oddly enough they seem to really like! Who knew, monkeys like bananas). I think the word "forest" is taking it too far, but C had a good time feeding them peanuts and they were quite civil and polite monkeys - unlike the monkeys we've come across in Bali. Those Bali Monkeys, they're so naughty. Bad Bali Monkeys, Bad! (okay, I've had way too much coffee today) I fed some of them peanuts as well, and always tried to give them to the pregnant monkeys or the new moms. And this is why I can't sit through an episode of Oprah without crying. I even started crying today at one sentence written in a fictional account of Heath Ledger's (very tragic death) last few days in an article in Esquire magazine. I'm guessing there are few tears ever spilled whilst reading Esquire magazine, but leave it to me... (I know my mother is now grinning ear to ear because she can just imagine the day when my kids tease me mercilessly because I won't be able to sit through 2 minutes of some sappy show like Little House on the Prairie, without crying). So hear I am, miss bleeding heart, making sure the more vulnerable monkeys are fed as well. We also stopped by a traditional Indonesian market on our drive, which was similar to the markets you find all over Africa.



We also visited a Hindu temple called Pera Muru and the Water Palace, which was a pavilion-like building in the middle of a man-made lake where the king would conduct business. We then headed to a pottery making village (in Bali and Lombok villages specialize in one craft, so especially in Bali you see shop after shop of the same thing). The pottery is special to Lombok so the designs were different than most of what I see around Jakarta. And that concludes our busiest day during our vacation.



Getting to Gili Trawangan (Gili T) is not an easy task. We got on a chartered minibus jam packed with people and luggage for about 1 hour. Then they dropped us off at a cafe near the port for us to have a drink while we waited for our boat to arrive. We then had to go a short ways to the port - J started haggling with the driver of a cimodo (horse and buggy) about the price to take us and the luggage to the port. He haggled over 50 cents. While his wife, baby, and 3 year old were waiting in the late morning sun sweating to death. We're not in Peace Corps anymore HONEY! After convincing J that it was worth an extra 50 cents, we arrived at the port to find that our boat wasn't there, so we waited. And waited. Until they told us we would take a public boat, not a chartered boat like we had been told.


Let me take a quick break and tell you that Indonesians don't generally get mad. At least they don't show it, and in the view of an American they don't stick up for themselves. If there is an injustice done to them by a business, for example, they won't argue very much, and they definitely won't raise their voices. You can see where I'm going with this. For those of you who know my husband, these 2 perspectives don't mesh very well (and don't very well with me either for that matter). So, there was some arguing, maybe some yelling, and finally we boarded a public boat that wasn't quite full but that we got to leave anyway.


The boat ride was fine. We made it to Gili T, stepped out into the water, and waded to shore with our suitcases and children dangling from our arms. I wish we had a video of it, I'm sure it was a miserable site. We were then whisked away into a cimodo (also a hilarious site - 5 people, 2 big suitcases, and a few bags stuffed into a cart) for a 3 km ride to our hotel. We stayed at Alam Gili, a sister hotel to the place my mom and I stayed in Ubud. It just opened in December so it was in perfect shape. The staff were true to the Alam hotel chain style - absolutely lovely. And best of all, it was so beautiful and serene and quiet. It's so quiet because there are no motorized vehicles allowed on the island. The only means of transportation are the cimodos, bikes, and feet. As soon as we arrived I started planning when we could return.




We mostly just relaxed. We walked on the beach, looked for seashells and coral, played in the water, and read magazines. J and I also went snorkeling and had a quiet dinner alone on the beach. We took C into "town" once for dinner and walked around a bit - not much there but a few decent restaurants, hotels, and dive shops. There were other families at our hotel, including a British family with 3 boys who had just moved to Jakarta the week before. They were fun and C helped them to hide Easter eggs for the hotel staff to find. I think the staff enjoyed the Easter egg hunt more than kids usually do!


All in all a very successful vacation.



And now I promise to give the travel blogging a rest for at least one post.

Tuesday, March 18, 2008

February photos

A few photos from February.

Bali

VolcanoOur pretty toes in the sand
This is how beautiful the Balinese make their lives... There are even fresh flowers decorating the toilet paper dispensers.


Back in Jakarta
Snake swallowing a chicken
LC's first visit to the zoo



Bathing boys

Tuesday, March 11, 2008

Moms visit

The hecklers are heckling and the audience is growing restless. It has been a long time since my last post. My attentions have been focused on work and my mom and so I do apologize my friends. I will try to get us back to our regularly scheduled program.

My mom's visit was very successful. Well, it was mostly successful. She spent the first week sick with high fever and exhaustion and hardly able to play with her grandsons. She was incredibly frustrated and so was C (I ended up having to work quite a bit). So her visit didn't really seem to start until her 2nd of 4 weeks.

Her 2nd week she and I spent 5 glorious days alone in Bali without husband or children. That's right, 5 days without attachments in lush beautiful Bali, playing with my mom. We first headed to Ubud, which is regarded as the art and culture center of Bali. It is in central Bali, surrounded by lush vegetation, rice paddies, and mountains and volcanoes. The town itself is pretty funky. It felt to me like a Telluride, Colorado on the beach in a different country: some fun and hippie shops and some snooty and swanky shops; paintings and pottery and wood carvings spilling out from all nooks and crannies; women wearing long flowing skirts and halter tops; and the sound of Balinese or Bahasa Indonesia on the streets. It's kind of a strange place.

We stayed at this charming little place called Alam Jiwa. The properties (there are 3 little hotels) are set in lush gardens bordering rice paddies. Our room had a Balinese bed on the veranda where we huddled for a couple hours the first night under the mosquito net during a thunder storm. We had a great time talking the night away. The staff is excellent and friendly and they serve a fantastic breakfast. My mother fell in love with their papaya juice and pancakes, and I loved their pineapple juice - best I've ever had. We were quite busy in Ubud. We spent quite a bit of time shopping, and somehow it still wasn't enough - not even for my mom who usually hates shopping. We also spent a half day learning how to batik. It was actually pretty difficult and time consuming, but it was fun. We also spent a day visiting a few of the area craft villages and having lunch overlooking a volcano.

Our next stop was the Tandjung Sari on Sanur. The hotel was a bit disappointing - not nearly as charming or interesting as the less expensive Alam Jiwa. This was to be our relaxation time at the beach, sleeping, and nice dinners. We had some of that, but I could have used more of it! We went out in a boat to go snorkeling, which is when I learned my mom doesn't really swim! You'd think a 35 year old woman would know that about her mother... So I went snorkeling and mom put her face in the water for a few minutes. The snorkeling was just ok. We went over to Seminyak to watch the sunset at La Luciola restaurant, one of my favorites on Bali. Dinner was delicious and the sunset too cloudy. We took a walk on the beach and chased crabs into the water.

The rest of my mother's visit was a medley of spa visits (my mother is addicted to the facials), local sightseeing, and playtime with the grandsons. C had an especially great time with nana. They were playing together constantly and nana was the queen of story invention. She told C all kinds of wonderful stories about dinosaurs and volcanoes (C's current obsession) and little boys and bajajs. LC became more and more comfortable with her as the time went by. Unfortunately he didn't become an efficient crawler while she was here, but he did manage to show her that he could scoot around on his belly.

And then she was gone, back to the hard cold Wisconsin winter. C went back to his boring routine and I went back to work. We all had a wonderful time and we're so happy she came for a visit!

Not much to tell you since then. I've been working too much and trying to balance it all (story of everyone's life, I know). But we have another vacation in sight. Thursday and Friday are holidays so most people take advantage of the 4 day weekend. To celebrate we're getting out of Jakarta to Lombok, an island east of Bali. I've heard great things about it and we're looking forward to some quiet and relaxation. Then I'm headed directly to Bangkok for work for a week. I've wanted to go to Thailand since I was in high school so I'm pretty excited about it. So, we're keeping busy! I'll write again in a couple weeks.

Wednesday, February 13, 2008

Blogging birthday

I totally missed Indoprism's one year birthday (first post)! Happy birthday blog! I'm proud to say I've kept it fairly active for one entire year. I'm having fun with it and it seems to be well received, so I guess I'll keep it going! Here's hoping for another birthday next Feb.