Spoiled but not rotten

So my son has gone from being spoiled once we got the nanny, to being Really Spoiled since we moved into our house. I don't mean the rules have been relaxed or that he's no longer expected to say thank you, etc. but he is now lavished with attention the entire day. As I've said before, the nanny doesn't believe he should ever be left alone, or she thinks if she did she wouldn't be doing her job, or something like that. So not only does C have a nanny that plays with him constantly, but there are other people here who would like nothing more than to play with him. He is completely surrounded by people who think he is absolutely wonderful. So far this hasn't turned him into any kind of monster, and I regularly remind his nanny that he needs to help pick up, etc., so I am trying to only think about what a good thing this is. Especially since he has no friends his age here, which we feel continuously guilty about, I think he deserves to be surrounded by people who want to play with him ALL the time. And since I know Indonesians love children, I know his "friends" are enjoying it too.

Finding a preschool is on the "to do" list for next week. Just to get him in one 2-3 mornings/week would be great, mostly so he can start making friends, but also so he is exposed to some structured learning and so we know he is on track. A friend of mine who we met through C's daycare mentioned they are trying to get their daughter to recognize letters and to know that an A is an A, etc. I had no idea C should be learning this as well! I miss having wonderful teachers around who give me some idea of what C should be learning...

We actually have a playdate scheduled for tomorrow morning. I was put in touch with a family who was moving here (as if I would be able to help...ha ha) to give them some ideas on life here with a toddler, finding daycare or a nanny, what to pack, etc. They have since arrived and the husband is in much the same boat as me - no solid job and finding himself a full time caretaker of a 2 year old. So we are getting together at a play center tomorrow to amuse our wee ones and to grab a cup of coffee (something I desperately need as we can't remember if we shipped our nice coffee maker, so we haven't bought one yet, and I am stuck with instant Nescafe every morning...). I think we are all hoping we adults hit it off so we can claim to have made at least one friend here.

This is probably what stinks most about this whole experience. Some friends of ours are envious of this adventure, and I understand as there are some really great things about it. And they are like us and have an itchy travel bug most of the time. But it would be sooo much better if we had friends and family to enjoy it with. We have this house that is great for entertaining, and yet we have no one to entertain! I expect this will come with time, just like most new places, but it is a bit lonely getting there.

We tried a new fruit yesterday, called rambutan. I recommend it, because 1) it's so funky looking and colorful, 2) it tastes like lychee fruit, 3) it's easy to eat. All good things in my book. I've never seen it before, but maybe you can get it canned in the states? In an Asian grocery store? You cut the fun hairy outside layer off and then eat the lychee-like white fruit that surrounds an almond looking seed. Unfortunately it is not an almond inside and you can't eat it, but how nice would that be! Then it really would be the perfect fruit.


I also had a doctor's appointment this morning. All looks good with our squirmy little munchkin. Evidently my doctor routinely gives ultrasounds at every visit. So I got another one today, and the bonus prize was that he also did it in 3-d! It was so totally cool. So I got to see the face, a human looking baby face!, and the little hands and fingers. It was really neat. And evidently our second child is inheriting my nose, passed on through my dad's side of the family, as it was quite prominent. Or maybe at this stage of development the nose is large? The other thing that was quite prominent was his penis and scrotum. No doubt about it - we're having another boy. Unfortunately J was not there to see the 3-d ultrasound, but we'll make sure he goes next time.

A nearby neighborhood

A couple photos from a neighborhood near our house

Our Indo house

A few photos of our house in Indonesia

More new beginnings

If you have ever traveled to a predominantly Muslim country or been somewhere that has a mosque and have heard the call to prayer, you may agree that it is one of the most exotic sounds there is. When I hear it, I can’t help but think of dry heat and desserts, beautiful mosaic tiles and gorgeous architecture, foreign languages and open air markets. For some reason it makes me think of Morocco, even though it’s Mali where I first heard the sound. The call to prayer is a sort of song in a deep voice and without too many hills or valleys. I do love it, because it never fails to either take me somewhere else or make me totally live in the moment. The trouble with the call to prayer is when it happens at 4:30 a.m. and is 1.5 blocks away from your house. When it wakes you up at an hour that is far from the time when you have to wake up. And even worse? It seems we have a very devout Muslim neighborhood rooster living nearby. Not 5 minutes after the call to prayer begins, the rooster starts calling to his devotees that it is indeed time to wake up and begin the day. This is how my day has started since we moved into our house last weekend. I keep hoping that I will begin to sleep through it, or at the least instantly recognize it for what it is and fall back asleep without a second thought.

The house is good. It is awesome to be out of the hotel and to feel that we are putting down roots of some kind. We have very little furniture and none of the personal, homey things that we sent from the US, but it is our’s for the next 2 years and we are getting to know it. The location is evidently better than we hoped. We can go to a couple good grocery stores without having to enter the thick of the neighborhood shops and traffic, and there are a few preschools nearby worth checking out. Even better, it is only taking J 30 min. to get to and from work. We feared it would be double that. The yard is big and has plenty of space for C to run around and we have taken a dip in the pool. It is louder than we expected, obviously, and there are a couple kinks to work out, but all in all it is a good move. We will hopefully get our car this week and then I can begin filling the house.

I am planning a trip to Singapore in a couple weeks to explore hospitals and doctors for the baby’s birth. I am looking forward to the trip, not that I need another new place to explore but it will answer a lot of anxious questions and I’m looking forward to doing some exploring on my own. No offense family, but I do like to get away from time to time and it has been nearly a year since I traveled for work. Plus Singapore is supposed to be a nice break from Jakarta and it is only for a few days.

I have taken a couple photos of the house which I will hopefully post soon. Our internet connection isn’t quite set up right so I am forced to get online in the living room sitting on a hard chair in a corner. My back just can’t take that these days. But I will try to do it soon.

And congrats J’s cousin A on getting married this past weekend. We’re sorry we missed bearing witness to the grand day and spending time with loved ones, but you were in our thoughts and it looks and sounds like it was a gorgeous wedding.

Cursed computers

It is amazing how absolutely and easily I (and the global, well Western, "we" I suspect) have become dependent on technology. I actually hate technology in a way, because I don't know how to fix it or manipulate it, only how to use it in a fairly basic way. And yet I go batty when I don't have access to the internet, to my email, to my files that are stored on my computer, etc. I'm not reliable with my cell phone; I often forget to bring it with me or adopt a recurring independent streak of not wanting to be reachable by anyone at anytime, just because They want to reach me. It frustrates my husband, aka Mr Gadget, to no end. Our tv set-up back home was a total maze of wires and complexities that J arranged. I knew how to use it, but as soon as something wasn't quite right it took about 30 seconds before I was throwing the remote across the room and cursing J for being thousands of miles away (this of course always happened when he was traveling) when all of a sudden I couldn't watch x show. Oh the horrors, I know.

This long diatribe on technology is a round about way of telling you that my work computer, my main computer, crashed last night. And this time I am without my trusted work IT people back in DC, who mercifully fixed it the last time this happened. Perhaps my office here will be able to fix it, and if not I will have to take it to complete strangers and pray they are able to fix it and not lose my hard drive in the process. I feel so vulnerable.

I also have a post ready to go, but it is saved on this other computer (ok, we actually have 4 computers for a 2 adult family: 2 work computers for J and me; 1 laptop that J had when he was a consultant (the one I'm using now); and our home desktop computer which is somewhere on the Pacific or Indian ocean (I actually have no idea which way the ship would have gone). Is this ridiculous? Yes, but it is saving my tushy right now). So you are stuck with a post about my technology woes.

In an exciting (yeah right!) update to my house preparations, I purchased dishes and glasses. I found some that are designed by an Indonesian artist, so they are quite unique. I also found some adorable children's dishes, also designed by an Indonesian. So we will not have to eat off the floor, and can actually do so in style. I also found a maternity swimsuit, which I have been searching for since arriving. I found a very cute maternity store with items that are not matronly like most of the maternity items I've seen here. I am so glad, for so many reasons, that I am not here for a first pregnancy. One reason is that I don't have to buy all of my maternity clothes here. 3 of my girlfriends and I back home all had children within about 16 months of each other, so we all contributed to a very sizable collection. I therefore brought some of the clothes here, and only have to add a few pieces.

I actually have thoughts throughout the day that are much more interesting than this blabber. But I forget them, and then you are stuck with the above. So sorry. I think I may start carrying a notebook with me so when I do have more interesting thoughts/observations I won't lose them to the black hole that is my memory. I also need to start carrying around my camera. One of my friends suggested I start an Indonesian word-a-day addition to my blog. I think this is a good idea and will do that once J and I actually start learning a word a day! We plan to get a tutor once we're settled in our house. Now, should I end up doing this, it will be a word-a-post, not every day, but hopefully it will be fun.

I got stuck in a stairwell yesterday. I finally got home from my exhausting shopping excursion, but needed to do laundry and needed to eat. After leaving the laundry room I decided to go down the stairs since I only had one floor to go, forgetting, in my food and water starved brain, that this is not the US and safety is not of utmost importance. I couldn't get out. Both the ground floor and first floor doors were locked. Wow, do I feel safe, with our room on the top floor of this hotel and all. I mean, why should I worry, it's not like fires or earthquakes or floods ever happen in this part of the world! Fortunately there were staff around who could let me out before I withered away in a starved, crying fit. I didn't end up eating lunch until 3 pm, NOT a good idea for a pregnant woman. And then I spent the rest of the day feeling absolutely dreadful, like I was 9 months pregnant. And then my computer crashed. The successful morning I had yesterday did not end well.

Speaking of safety, or lack thereof, C and I were also electrocuted a couple weeks ago. We went down to the kiddie pool; C was ahead of me and all of a sudden broke into hysterics. I went over to him and touched the rail and felt a mild shock. I scooped C up and we both recovered quickly. And we stayed away from the kiddie pool. I told the lifeguard about this, and his response? Yes, I know, someone has been contacted to repair it. Oh, that's great and all I thought, but there are about 3 kids playing in the pool and there's no sign warning anyone, especially the small children and pregnant women, that there is a live wire around the pool. Really great. (On a side note, I found some info. on electrocution and pregnancy and if it is mild and localized, that is not coursing through the abdomen, there should be nothing to worry about). One of my professors from grad school, who is a renowned injury prevention expert, would shutter at these stories.

Well, I've written enough randomness today. Hopefully I'll have another post up soon if I get my computer fixed.

More shopping excursions

It has been a busy week, full of shopping excursions with both successful and failed endings. One morning I went in search of dishes and glasses at a huge department store. Surely, you would think, they would have a large selection of both. And yet, if I wanted china I may have been successful but otherwise they had a dismal collection. However, I had a great time! 2 huge floors full of incredibly gorgeous fabrics and Indonesian crafts. I was drooling while my hands kept twitching towards my pocketbook. I had to keep reminding myself that I have plenty of time and plenty of exploring to do before I start indulging in my shopping vice. Half of one floor in the store is a Toys R Us, and I looked around and confirmed that C will not lack a good selection of toys when there is a need. I have also seen quite a few cute independent toy stores around. From here I headed to another mall with another department store, and was once again disappointed to find no selection whatsoever. This means that I will have more dish expeditions this week, or else we will have nothing to eat on come next weekend.

Another shopping excursion involved the search for appliances and televisions. We went to a Best Buy type store, although the layout was not nearly so friendly. Instead of having all the washing machines together, everything is organized by brand. So there were about 10 different areas to look for the things we needed. Never having bought a washing machine before, and certainly never in a foreign country, it was a long confusing journey. However, we were successful and we purchased a washing machine and tv. When we move in we will have clean clothes and be able to watch American Idol, but will be eating off the floor. At least we have our priorities straight.

We also looked at cars this weekend. We are going to have to go the SUV or van route, as we have to fit 2 carseats plus 3 adults at a minimum (we will have a driver to navigate the confusing streets and insane traffic), and sometimes more when we have visitors, etc. It is surprising and very nice that we can buy a brand new (although we're going to try to buy used) Toyota SUV for under $20k.

We went over to the house today and the repairs, painting, etc. are looking great. We will definitely be able to move in next weekend - hooray! C had a lot of fun playing in the yard and I feel good that he will be happier once we're there. I know I will be.

The baby is an ACTIVE little squirt. I've been feeling him kick for quite a while, but it's definitely picking up in frequency and power. It will be fun when C can feel it, although maybe that will sort of freak him out too...?

The Great Sulker

C has become The Great Sulker, a being who sulks at the slightest disappointment and pouts when not the center of attention. I am not positive when this transformation occurred, but sometime in the last month. And like many of the new antics of late, I'm not sure if they are just typical 2.5 year old behaviors or his reaction to so many changes. In any case, I now have this toddler who will dramatically throw himself to the ground, belly down, put his hands to his face, turn away from us, and Sulk. And if he can't be horizontal, then he simply brings his fists to his eyes, shoves his bottom lip out, and pouts with as much emotion as one can possibly pout. Mind you, there are no tears involved in this new ritual. And he quickly recovers, complete with smiles and charm, if he gets his way or once again becomes the center of the universe. It is quite pathetic, and funny, and sometimes very annoying.

Our nanny is fabulous; she started last week. Her English is impressive, she is sweet and fun and creative, she gets The Great Sulker to eat all of his food, she is very attentive and helpful, and C seems to adore her. I worry that C will become too spoiled with so much attention though. Right now I think it's good for him, and he deserves it with all that he's been through over the last couple months, but I worry about the lasting effects (see "worry" in the dictionary and I bet "a constant state of being for all mothers" is at least one definition). But how do you tell a nanny to not do too good of a job - play with him and be attentive but you don't have to be right beside him ALL the time, it's ok to ignore him a little bit sometimes, your main responsibility is to care for this child but don't always make him the center of your world... Her English is great, but I don't know if she'll quite get that.

In other news, or rather non news, I had my first leisurely breakfast in months today. After our nanny arrived I went downstairs to eat by myself, and ran into one of J's colleagues. We had a very pleasant discussion, talking about the uniqueness of Peace Corps, living and working overseas, our families and the distance created by our jobs, etc. Since our nanny started adult conversations have once again become part of my life, and I am so thankful for that. J and I have gone out to dinner, without C, twice in the last week. I went shopping this morning without a bored and frustrated toddler to care for. I have found time to start this site and resume doing work. It is grand.

The shopping outing was, surprise!, frustrating! I would have given my left arm for a Target. When moving into a new house, the convenience of a Target is priceless. I can't complain too much, because this place did have just about everything I need. But, when the packaging and brands are all totally unfamiliar, it takes a decade to decide what kind of laundry detergent I should get, buy kitchen sponges (ok, that may seem ridiculous but I did spend like 5 min. in front of the sponges. They have the kind I like, but at a ridiculous $1.50/sponge, I had to decide on something less ideal), buy a ton of random stuff that we only need until our sea shipment arrives in a month, search and search unsuccessfully for the garbage bags, tinfoil, etc, think you're going crazy cuz you can find the forks and spoons but not the butter knives - only to discover later that Indonesians don't use butter knives - who knew! Anyway, it was a small adventure, just part of life getting settled outside of the US.

Sadness for a dear friend

I was going to write today just about the flooding that has overwhelmed Jakarta. Over 100,000 people have been made homeless and 6 people have died. This is the worst flooding to hit Jakarta in 5 years. We have been largely unaffected and the house we are to move into is just fine. For more information about the flooding, you can click here and here.

Instead, I will write about something very sad that has befallen a friend of mine and her family. I learned today that a best friend's sister was discovered to be suffering from severe preeclampsia and had to deliver her baby boy at 24 weeks. This is a dear friend from high school, and I know her sister and have actually followed in her footsteps in many ways, from working in a couple places where she worked, going to the same university, traveling overseas, and going into public health. She has hosted me in her house a couple times and is one of the most fun, spunky, and kind people I know. My heart is breaking for her and the whole family, and I wish them all the strength and fortune in the world to get through this.

I have read up some on preeclampsia to learn more about it. If you are interested in finding out more, you can click here. From what I read, preeclampsia is a hypertensive disorder that has mostly unknown causes. It can be undetected for a long time, and can become serious very quickly. When serious, it can lead to eclampsia, with symptoms such as seizures and difficulty breathing. It is one of the main known causes of premature birth in the developed world and one of the main causes of maternal and infant illness and death around the world.

Let's hope for the best for little A and his family.

And there is another little baby boy out there to pray for. Another friend of mine gave birth to a boy last summer who was discovered to have a heart defect. He needed open heart surgery within days to repair the heart defect, called the Transposition of the Great Arteries. He recovered from the surgery very well, but it was recently discovered that there was severe scarring and unfortunately will need open heart surgery again in the near future. She keeps a beautiful blog about her son and her first child, a girl born with Downs Syndrome, at Wonderbabe.

So, all of my prayers and good wishes go out to these two little boys, and to their amazing mothers and families.

The first foray

Here goes my first venture into the bloggingsphere. It definitely has that blank page intimidation about it – how does one begin to write to a mass group of friends and family and potential anonymous readers, especially for a somewhat private person such as myself? And how does one begin to recount a great adventure, one that is so life changing and unreal? And I still have to set up my site, a foray into a technical world that I feel ill equipped for. There is also the responsibility of giving this site a name…

I suppose I can be unoriginal and start with a little background and introduction. On this site, in this world, I am B. My 2.5 year old son C and I are tagging along with my husband J, whose company has sent him to Jakarta, Indonesia to head up their office. We have been here for one month, and will be here for at least 2 years. We are transplants from Washington, DC and both work in international development. I will be able to continue working for my company on a part-time basis, and the rest of the time will be spent with my family, learning, and self-discovery. Oh, and the other big piece of information is that we are having another baby this summer, so in addition to moving to the other side of the planet, selling our house and cars, putting most of our worldly possessions into storage, we are expecting another child. Nothing like doing it all at once…

This site is mostly intended to keep our loved ones and acquaintances informed of our activities, to give them and possibly others insight into the people and culture of Indonesia, and perhaps to talk about any interesting political and health related information I come across. I have grand plans to keep it fairly active, but I realize those words are probably often uttered on sites such as this.

The rainy season has begun with a vengeance. I understand that it was late in arriving this year, and our first 2 weeks here were full of sunshine and heat. Hmm, the tropics, during Washington's January - fantastic. The last 2 weeks, however, have seen increasing rain and cloud cover, so that the last few days have been nothing but rainy. The nice thing is that the thunderstorms are awesome, especially the thunder, and the temps have cooled. The worst thing is that I am stuck in a hotel room with a toddler.

So, yes, not only have we moved to a totally foreign country (I have never been to SE Asia), we have been living in a hotel for a month now, and have 2 weeks to go before we move into a house. We take an elevator downstairs every morning to have a buffet breakfast (in a matter of days I can kiss goodbye those freshly made waffles, pain au chocolats, eggs, fruit, and everything else I can shove into my mouth before my son gets sick of watching me try to eat as many carbs as possible – did I mention I’m pregnant?), we greet the staff, we produce fake smiles of discomfort to all the Asians who pinch C’s cheeks and baby talk to him and want to take his photo, we walk around the fairly extensive grounds, we order room service, we take taxis everywhere, we have 6 huge boxes of the things we air shipped sitting in our "living room", J can walk to work, we hear the myriad of noises of a city spilling over with millions of people.

I guess this hotel thing isn’t all that bad, when I look at it like that. Mostly what I’m desperate for is to feel settled again. It has been months, basically ever since we decided that J should try for this position and especially since he was informed he got it and we had 3 months to completely rearrange our lives, that I have felt unsettled. And I know that feeling settled is still months away, but at least moving into our new house is the rebirth of that feeling. So, 2 more weeks to go…

Ah, the rain has finally stopped. Hopefully it will remain dry so C and I can finally go outside… And I hear the rainy season here lasts for 3-4 months. Oh boy.